I’m not really a big celebrator of holidays. Except Halloween. But Halloween is just downright fun. So I haven’t really given much thought to Valentine’s Day lately. Valentine’s Day was always kind of one of those “responsibility” days. When something was expected. You took little cards to school. Made little crafty boxes or envelopes to hang on your desk for people to drop in notes. And later on it was about getting a flower in high school. Or jewelry, candy, flowers as an adult. Expectations, I guess. I was never really big on that.
This year, I’ve been giving it a bit of thought. What does it mean exactly, and why are people either so for or so against it? It’s just another day, right?
Let’s get this straight – I’m separated at the moment. Kind of in marriage-divorce limbo. We’ve decided, based on finances, to wait to officially divorce until after our youngest turns 18 and divorce magically becomes much easier, faster, and less expensive. I don’t have a problem with that (I think it was my idea, actually). He’s moved on, I’ve moved on, and as long as tempers don’t flair all is good.
So by all accounts I should be kind of bitter about Valentine’s Day. Single (sort of), no chocolates coming my way, no flowers, no jewelry. But today, I kind of surprised myself by taking notice of a website that sells “Anti-Valentine’s Day” goods. Huh. “Anti” Valentine’s Day. Hadn’t really thought of that before. Interesting.
And I think the thing that got me thinking was – do you have to have a man or a love in your life to enjoy Valentine’s Day? Is it an either/or deal? You embrace the flowers and hearts, or you despise them? It got me to thinking. Because I’m not really adverse to Valentine’s Day, in theory. Celebrating love, decorating in reds and pinks, flowers, and pretty things. No, I’m not adverse to that at all. I rather enjoy that. Even though I’m single.
It kind of hit me that Valentine’s Day doesn’t have to be a day of sadness, or loneliness, or celebrating “anti V-day” – it can be a celebration day of yourself. I am loving life right now. I am single (sort of), I have wonderful kids (who I don’t see often enough), I don’t have nearly the “stuff” I did before, but neither do I have the emotional baggage I was struggling to carry around with me. I’m not scared, I’m not depressed, and I’m not feeling sorry for myself any longer.
I’m happy to be where I am right now. I am enjoying all of the moments – good and bad, as they relate to me. Not me and another person. I think maybe Valentine’s day should be taken back from celebrating “couples” or a person’s connection to another, and can be about loving where you are right now. Finding the positives that you have personally. Whether you are with someone else or not.
I saw this photo this week and just loved it. Not because it bashes married people, or those in a relationship, but because it speaks to being happy right now. With the wind blowing through your hair and your hands in the air. Exhilaratingly in love with life.